Welcome to my story. My name is Esther and I am very happily married to Marc. In December 1999 it was discovered that I had breast cancer. I was then 34 years old. I thought I was falling apart. It all started in March 1999 when I discovered a lump in my breast. I went to the doctor. He examined it by feeling and said that I didn’t need to worry about it, I was still young. He was convinced, also because of my age, that there was nothing to worry about. A few months later, I went to the Doctor again because it still didn’t feel right. Again he told me not to worry. If I wanted to be sure I had to go to the hospital and get it checked out by having a mammogram. While I was waiting to have the mammogram I was in a lot of pain. I had a mammogram and an ultrasound; it showed there was a lump, but it seemed that it was not an aggressive one. But it was still hurting me. People told me not to worry but I couldn’t understand why I shouldn’t worry about something that was causing me so much pain. They said when its hurts it’s probably not cancer (yeah right) Finally they decided that they should operate so that they could take a closer look at the lump and remove it. When I came round from the anaesthetic I was in terrible pain, I was given some morphine for the pain and then later that day I was sent home. Nobody told me what had happened during the surgery just to come back in two weeks. I was in so much pain. Two weeks later I went back to the surgeon for the results, luckily Marc came with me. The surgeon was glad that Marc was with me as he told me he had some bad news. During the operation they found out that it was indeed a tumour but they couldn’t remove it during the operation. Then he told me that I had Breast Cancer. I was shocked and at that moment my whole world fell apart. They had to operate me as soon as possible and I would have to undergo a mastectomy. As it was approaching Christmas they didn’t want to leave me in the hospital over the holidays and they decided to wait until after Christmas. I could immediately talk to the mama care nurse (Melanie thank you so much for everything). They told me I could get a new breast directly after the amputation. My skin was too tight, because they had to take the lump and a lot of skin tissue. With a technique using an expander, it’s like a small balloon that they will fill little by little with saltwater. They made the remaining skin loose in order to be able to reconstruct the breast. In January 2000, I underwent the second operation. It was a tough operation in which they also removed the lymph nodes in my armpit. The Expander was also implanted, but it was filled with only a little bit of salt water. My breast was gone. I felt deformed. Staging Breast Cancer: I had stage III (source:http://www.imaginis.com/breasthealth/lymph_nodes.asp) Two months afterwards, I got also chemotherapy because the cancer was very aggresive. It was very heavy. You feel you sick and weak and most terrible that I’ve lost my hair. Even a wig didn’t make me feel good. I’d got 4 doses of chemotherapy. After the 3rd time I wanted to quit, because my mouth was hurting very badly. We, (also the doctors) didn’t know what it was. At a certain moment Marc said: “why don’t you ask your dentist? “ The dentist found out that it was my wisdom tooth. Unfortunately, they could not remove it, because I had a lack of white blood cells. I received morphine against the pain, but even that did not help. I was in terrible pain. I even didn’t want to continue with the 4th and last part of chemotherapy. I nevertheless did the 4th cure. In June the permanent prosthesis would be placed but it was too small and much too high. On February 2nd, 2001, I had another operation. Another implant was placed which was equal to my other. I had new breast. I felt beautiful again. After I had been recovering during a couple of months, I went to the gym. I felt that I wanted to get my body into shape after all the operations. I could even ware a bikini again. Even though you could see the scar. Little by little I am getting my life in order, although it will never be the same again. I have to say that I see everything different now. Sometimes I enjoy life even more. I had to make some big changes in my life. I can not work anymore because I feel tired very easy. I sleep every afternoon a few hours. Also I cannot do all the things I did before. The good thing is I’ve learned to enjoy other things, even more beautiful. I am more aware about the environment and grateful for all the things I have. In July/August 2001 I had to do a pap smear test in the Hospital. It was very normal for my age. But the result was very disturbing. I thought I went crazy not cancer again?? It was not good; it was stage 4 which meant it was a pre-stage of cervical cancer. But it had not spread yet. They could do a small operation to remove it. Luckily they could remove the “bad” cells. I have to do a pap smear regularly. In November 2001, I was again worried about a small lump in my breast. They searched it and thought it was a cyst, but it had to be removed. I underwent surgery again and it was a cyst, but luckily they could remove it. In October 2003 they damaged my implant during a mammogram, even tough I said that they shouldn’t check my breast with a mammo-gram, but with an ultrasound only. They didn’t listen and so it was damaged. They had to operate me again and placed a new implant. In June 2008 again an operation was necessary. I had scar tissue that was really hurting. It was a bigger operation then I had expected. It also took longer to revover then I tought, but the result is very good. Special thanks to my plastic surgeon. After all these operations I still came out strong. I still feel I am happy to be alive! I am enjoying my life, husband, friends and family. I am so glad that my husband was there with me all the time and still is. I love him so much. I couldn’t do it without him. It was for him also a very difficult time. (See his Story) I want to thank everybody who supports me. For the people who are in the same situation or fear that they have breast cancer: Listen to your body! Stay positive. Never give up hope. These days, with all the new treatments, the chances of surviving breast cancer have increased significantly. But it needs to be discovered early (!), so check your breast regularly! Update: It is now 10 years later after the diagnose and I am very Happy to still be here. I have changed my life and enjoying every minute of it. I wish everybody a lot of strength! Please support Breast Cancer research! Lots of Love, Esther
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